So my daughter — smartass, mini-me, snuggler-in-chief — still loves to sleep in my bed. She’s eight. But when her dad’s away for work (which happens more often than she deserves), she claims her spot next to me and insists I go to bed at the same time. Sweet mom that I am… I cave. I mean, who says no to extra sleep? This is one of those real parenting with positive energy moments. Not the perfect ones — the messy, smelly, slightly spiritual ones.
The Bedroom Dilemma
When we just moved into this house, she had a hard time sleeping alone. It’s way bigger than our old place, and she picked the bedroom farthest from ours. Not because of the distance, of course — but because it’s the biggest one with a walk-in closet. Priorities, right?
Getting her to sleep in her own bed took time. At first, I tried the “you have to, because that’s what kids do” method. Spoiler: tantrums. After a few of those, I ditched the rulebook and just asked her what she needed. Comfort. Safety. Okay, I can work with that.
We started by letting her fall asleep in our bed. Once she was out, we’d gently move her. Sometimes we’d lie down next to her, tell a story, just be there. Slowly but surely, her room became hers. Weekend sleepovers with besties helped too.
Sage smoke and sleep tricks that actually worked or not
This week, she was back in our bed. Again. After two nights of “family slumber party,” my husband had enough and said: “It’s time for the sage.” Instead of making her bedtime struggles a battle, we flipped the script — because that’s what real parenting with positive energy looks like, that’s what my husband must be thinking..
Yep, we had sage lying around — bought it months ago, never used it. I was doing laundry while my spiritual warriors opened windows and waved that smoky stuff like it was holy water.
“Think of all the negative energy leaving the house,” they chanted.
Look. I have two kids and a husband. If there’s any chance that sage clears negative energy — light it up, baby.
Have you ever smelled sage? If I were negative energy, I’d run. But I’m not. I’m Mom. I stay.
My daughter, very seriously, whispered: “Think of the bad vibes leaving…” Then added: “God, this stuff stinks.”
Meanwhile, my husband — all sage-serious — came into her closet, where I had just put away an entire pile of freshly folded laundry. The only bad energy in that closet at that moment… was me.
The Teenager Reaction (Predictable)
Next up: our son’s room. Now, there’s not much energy in there to begin with — unless you count video game rage. He hadn’t slept enough (teenagers + mornings = disaster) and definitely didn’t ask for his dad waving smoke around with his sister trailing behind chanting her new mantra.
Let’s just say… it didn’t end peacefully.
But honestly? I loved that my husband took it seriously. That he tried something — anything — to help her feel safe. That matters.
The Bigger Picture: Energy Is a Choice
It got me thinking. Not about sage, but about energy — the real kind. The invisible weight of a bad day. The tension that lingers. The mental load. Sometimes it’s ours, sometimes it’s the people around us.
I recently read a book on decision-making. It said: You choose whether you stay in negative energy. That hit me. You decide what kind of energy you carry. The question is: do you actually follow through?
Like the DMV. No one enjoys going there. Long waits, confusing rules, endless bureaucracy. It’s the mothership of bad vibes. But when I’m there, I decide not to spiral. I people-watch. I scroll. I laugh at some dude telling terrible jokes his girlfriend doesn’t get. I even text my friend I’m in line — that’s venting, not negativity.
Energy is a choice. Even if your husband falls asleep before you and snores like a broken lawnmower. Then, maybe, it’s okay to have just a little negative energy.
Flip the Script
That’s what we did with my daughter. Instead of forcing independence, we made it safe. We flipped the fear into connection. I now get sleepy cuddles, bedtime chats, and her hand reaching for mine in the dark.
Did the sage work?
Well… tonight she wanted a sleepover with her brother. He said no (obviously). So she asked one of us. She still came downstairs with stories and sleepy eyes. But no tantrum. No drama. Just ten extra minutes of connection before bed.
It’s a decision. It’s not always easy, but choosing real parenting with positive energy helps us all breathe easier. Even when the sage stinks.
One Response
Always stay patient, is an art.